A few months back …

I parted my loved ones, and just before I was escorted in the room, I remembered that I had my contacts on, which had to be removed prior to the procedure. When that was done with, I recall someone grabbing my hands, and rubbing on them so gently; babbling about what I ate today and last night… I figured out it was the anesthetist. So I replied, almost whispering that: “I didn’t eat much last night, and just a while ago, I ate a few dates & drank some water.”

Everything felt like nonsense to me! Nothing seemed to relax me at that moment more than the thought of wanting to leave.

I felt my heart beating faster and faster by the second; especially after hearing the voice of my obstetrician nearby. I turned towards his voice; just in time to see him wave his extra-large hands right at me …

For some reason, I have never noticed before how short he looked, and almost plum-like figure he had.

When I heard the sounds of the doors slide shut behind us. I knew the time has come, and the day I dreaded most is here. And at that point, I was quite terrified, I didn’t want to be there, but it was too late…

Now nothing really mattered because things can’t be reversed.

I looked around, and found nothing but blurry little black eyes glaring back at me. I could barely see the devices they’ve got attached on me. I remember the lights were quite bright, almost blinding… and the walls were as white as chalk.

I wanted to run away and just couldn’t. I was trapped, as though I’ve been tied down with ropes from top to toe. I felt my pulse was about to explode, and I just waited for the worst. I believe waiting is the scariest feeling on earth.

Actually, I was frightened of the thought that my life was in the hands of mere strangers. Loads of thoughts were racing in my mind: ‘maybe this wasn’t such a good idea!’ or ‘I could’ve gone to another OB’ & ‘what if I took the castor oil??’

That’s when I suddenly felt drowsy; it must have been something they’ve injected in me. Ooh no, I’m falling asleep, I don’t want to. I want to see what’s going to happen to me. I felt just like a baby who is unable to resist the sleep; struggling to stay awake; not wanting to skip a thing, but is incapable.

It was such a powerful force… obliging me to close my eyes, and I unwillingly did. My body was aching to be in sleep mode. As I was lying motionless on the bed, my body’s started stiffening like a rock… before I gave in to that strong force, I repeated my prayers silently, and shed some more tears.

My mind gradually drifted away… so far away…

The most terrible days of my life, why? Because after my surgery I couldn’t move and I had what’s callled BABY’s blues. I cried so much, rejected food, and I didn’t want to see anyone, even my baby (I felt so sorry for my baby) and it annoyed me to hear his cries …

Because of surgery, I couldn’t walk the 1st day, and the next day, I struggled so much to walk and I was so bloated … it hurt so much, I thought how will I ever make it, and cope with all this! Well, I took like 5 different tablets everyday; vitamins, antibiotics, disflatil (for gas), and lots of PAINKILLERS! This went on for the 1st week … but got better everyday and the more I walked and ate … the better I got!

And, when I recovered from surgery and the blues. It was all about the baby!!!!

Note: This part is for me, a reminder for what I went through.

The day I gave birth to our baby. It was a normal Thursday, the usual hot & dry climate we’re very used to … and like any other day I had a Doctor’s appointment I had to go to. This time I had my dad come along with me and my husband. The night before I could hardly go to bed because I was over-due and I thought that if I continue on without labour pains, then for sure I’ll be having a c-section.

Anyways, when it was my turn to see the Doctor … and obviously there was no significant progress with labour at all! Infact, I experienced what’s called silent labour (not mentioned anywhere in the book I read) and I felt nothing at all. I was dilated to about 4cm, something definitely was wrong …

It was until I had an ultrasound that it showed my pelvis was too tiny, in comparison with the baby’s head, and the possibility of a natural birth is very little. My chances were 1% out 100 because it could be quite dangerous to force the baby out by induced labour, it could leave both of us (me or the baby) with afterbirth problems … I went into tears … I never underwent any sort of surgery before …

But, I had everybody’s support … so I went ahead and accepted the horrible fact I dreaded most … going for c-section! To the extent I missed the part in the book I was reading “What to Expect When Your Expecting” on c-sections because I felt afraid of going through surgery, which truly I wish I read.

Then again I didn’t want to argue with God’s will. Though it was a big deal for me to experience true labour, I really am quite happy I didn’t because I could’ve gone through a lot more complications than I thought!

At the end when I saw my baby … it was just me and the baby … I fell in love again … his face, soft black hair, tiny eyes … fragile fingers and toes, soooooooooft skin … and best of all his dimple!

Things are sorted out at work, and everyone’s getting ready to travel for the summer, and I’ve done some good packing myself, getting ready for birth …

I just can’t believe this would be over very soon, with every little cute leg kicks, now I feel I can’t wait to wrap my fingers around them & those extremely annoying episodes of hiccups I can’t wait until they’ve stopped …

From today on, I should expect contractions at anytime, and I haven’t had any false alarms earlier on or any sort of pre-labour pains, so now I’m all on my own!

I quote this: “A woman I know told me this story: One night in her ninth month, she woke up screaming with pain. Her husband sleepily jumped up, grabbed their packed suitcase, and started ushering her off to the hospital. But it wasn’t labor, it was a leg cramp!”

I wonder how my husband would react to that!

Good things about pregnancy, and let me miss the part about needing a whole new wardrobe and terrible weight gain, especially if you’re looking for a new look, then you’ll definitely have that as part of being pregnant.

1.You won’t have to consider having a plastic surgery for beauty marks because moles naturally appear on cheeks, noses, shoulders, and anywhere you wish.
2. You won’t need tanning beds or sunbathing at the beach because skin naturally goes tanned.
3. You won’t have to worry about locking yourself in your room or avoiding people because you won’t be complaining of PMS pains or mood swings.
4. You can save up on waxing and sugaring because hair growth is much less.
5. The best part is that people will always feel sympathetic with you, and that’s a thumb ups if you’re in the co-op!
6. At the end, you’ll get the best surprise of your life … and strictly speaking, Kuwaiti preganant ladies working in governmental institutions … get 2 months maternal leave with a full paid salary, and 4 months optional with ½ paid salary …

How does it taste like? How does it look like?